For Rebecca: Relationships that Make Us


I wrote this post in September, but waited to publish it. Since today is Rebecca’s birthday, I thought it would be appropriate.


People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, But people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou

Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about relationships — both the good and the bad ones. There’s something to the way a person makes you feel, physically feel, that says something about both that individual and your relationship with them. There are the bad ones that give you the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, as if you’ll lose your breakfast in the waste bin the moment you see them. There are also the ones that make your stomach do flips, but in an exciting, romantic kind of way.

Even still, there are the often-forgot relationships that are constant, calming, reassuring. Those are the friendships we often take for granted. There are no giant, dramatic fights over who said something to someone else — often a she-said-she-said kind of ordeal. Rather, you are there for one another through trials and tribulations.

So when something threatens to take away one of these warm, comforting relationships it can often be entirely earth-shaking. Life no longer seems to make sense. Each breath feels forced. And through this, you begin to question why things happen the way they do. Why this? Why now?

I realize that I’m being a little vague in this post and I hope that you’ll forgive me. What I will say is that I have been moved by a truly spectacular individual — someone who helped shape who I am at a time when my life was on very unsteady grounds. She saw through the layers of feigned happiness in me and let me know that it was okay to be upset. It was okay to grasp for straws and ask friends for help. It was okay to walk away from relationships that hurt me because another, more inspiring one would be just around the corner.

There is a chance that I may lose this friend and I can’t say that my world will ever feel as bright and as engaging afterwards as it does with her in it.

Maya was right. It isn’t what my friend has done or even the things she still may do that I will always remember. It is how she makes me feel, how she alters my world that is what really matters. And for that, I will forever be grateful.

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